Why Caregiving is Crushing Modern Parents — And What You Can Do

You had your routine down.

Drop the kids off, pick them up, soccer practice, dinner, homework, bath time, and finally, bed. It wasn’t easy, but it worked.

Then Mom fell.

Everything changed.

She needed surgery, a walker, medicine — and daily care.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to the Sandwich Generation — where you’re caring for your kids and your aging parents at the same time.

You’re not alone, though. More people than ever are stuck in this situation, and millions more are on the way.

The reason there’s a sandwich generation is simple: parents in their 30s, 40s, and 50s just can’t catch a break.

Both caregiving and parenting are mammoth tasks on their own. But if you’re juggling the emotional and financial cost of raising kids while learning to care for your parents — you’ve definitely got my respect.

This sandwich situation isn’t happening by chance either. Our parents are living longer than ever — and that’s great, because it means we get more time with them.

But the care system and society just aren’t keeping up.

The numbers tell us why. Between 2012 and 2022, the 65+ population grew by 15 million. By 2050, almost 1 in 4 Americans will be 65 or older.

More importantly, 70% of today’s 65-year-olds will need long-term care, and they’ll need it soon.

Unrealistic prices and the lingering pain of inflation also make it clear that modern parents are being hit from all sides.

They have to figure out how to either provide care, or pay for it — and they should also expect to support their children financially (and with housing) well into adulthood.

Longer life expectancies, rising care needs, and financially struggling kids mean the sandwich squeeze is here to stay.

The logical solution? Hire caregivers or help Mom move somewhere with full-time care. The obvious problem? The cost.

Care is simply too expensive for most Americans. That is hardly surprising, considering the staggering bill.

Do your parents have $5,900 per month for assisted living, or $6,400 for full-time in-home care? Do you?

If you’re like most Americans, that’s not possible with the typical paycheck.

Even when we combine our incomes with our parents, the extra costs still pile up. Lost wages, reduced retirement contributions, and burnout put unexpected pressure on our current — and future — spending power.

(And remember, Medicare does not cover long-term care.)

For those of us who can pay out-of-pocket, a larger problem is finding the right care.

Some facilities have availability, but that doesn’t mean families and aging parents are comfortable in a care home.

That leaves two imperfect choices: stay at home alone or move in with family. Part-time in-home care might help — but someone still has to fill the gap. And that’s usually us, the family members.

You’re not out of options. It is still possible to get your parents the care they need, when they need it.

There is something you can do, today.

Many people assume that Medicaid is only for those below the poverty line — but that’s not true. Medicaid is actually the largest payer for long-term care in the US, covering 61% of long-term care costs.

So if you haven’t looked into it, you could be leaving money on the table.

A phone call to your local Medicaid office or some time with a professional could reveal more options than you’d think.

In some states, for instance, a Miller trust could help your parent qualify for Medicaid if their income is above the standard threshold. Family caregiver agreements can sometimes also allow a parent to “pay” a family member without breaking Medicaid rules. Asset spend-down strategies shouldn’t be ignored either.

Sure, Medicaid is complicated — but don’t overlook its potential. It could mean the difference between survival and burnout, and there are professionals who can help.

You might even discover that your parent already qualifies for Medicaid, since an estimated 5 million Americans are eligible but are not enrolled.

Before you or your parents spend thousands out of pocket, make one phone call and check your state’s Medicaid eligibility guidelines.

If they don’t qualify, don’t stop looking. The resources and public benefits out there might surprise you.

It’s time to kick the sandwich squeeze — and take back control.